Rachal

Seven years ago I began hormone therapy and “came out” to everyone as female.  It was then that I began to establish a chosen family.  Prior to this I had close relationships, but there was always a feeling that no one really knew me and accepted me.

 

Growing up, I found it very difficult to find others who supported the feminine qualities that I exhibited and desired. As a result, I don’t have a large chosen family now.  Those that I now consider family seem closer and the bond is greater.  There is great strength in being transparent and honest with those in my chosen family.  The mutual acceptance of our core identity creates a very strong bond that allows for the possibility of unconditional love.  Belonging to a family with those bonds also creates a feeling of being home.  I believe the word family is interchangeable with community.  When we are very young our community is our bloodline.  As we grow, we seek out those individuals that support our vision of the world.  If we develop a community that reflects our core values, we establish a family unity that offers a sense of safety and belonging.

 

For many years, I have imagined the idea of a Christmas or Thanksgiving gathering and what it would be like to have such a gathering with my chosen family.  Although I have never been involved in a traditional gathering as I understand it, I think sharing in preparing a meal, telling stories, eating, drinking and playing would be a very intimate encounter with few social barriers.  As a transgender woman, the experience of being accepted and loved by my chosen family at such an occasion would be momentous.